Blog

03.04.2009
Livet (Norwegian verison)

Aldri vil jeg forbanne min Skaper

Som pustet liv i min sjel da eggcellen og sædcellen smeltet sammen

Som visste om alle mine dager på jorden

Selv før celledelingen hadde startet

Som elsket meg med sin endeløse kjærlighet

Selv før jeg hadde rukket å ta et eneste riktig valg

 

Aldri vil jeg forbanne Livet

Som jeg ble tildelt

Selv om det kunne sies å være det jeg aldri kunne noe for

Livet

Som presenterte verden for meg dag for dag

Som gav meg mennesker jeg kunne bli glad i

Som viste meg menneskehetens utilstrekkelighet

Som vekte de dypeste følelser i meg

Som tillot tanker stadig å omskrives

Som lot meg bli en del av denne verdens historie

 

Aldri vil jeg undervurdere Livets betydning

Den oppstod med Skaperens valg om en hensikt

Den varer for alltid i en forbarmende god evighet

Evigheten skapt for oss alle

Livets betydning manifesterer seg i hvert enkelt menneske

Hver eneste en med sin iboende kraft til forandring

Den er umulig å bagatellisere

 

Aldri vil jeg undervurdere sorgen over et liv som er tapt

Tapet som oppleves som en ruinering av sitt eget liv

Som et umettelig savn

Som en utømmelig brønn fylt opp av elendighetens tårer

Like fullt vil jeg glede meg over livet som fortsatt eksisterer

Både i meg selv her på jorden

Og i den sjel som har gått foran til Lysets Rike.

 

Life (English version)

Never will I curse my Creator

Who breathed life into my soul when the ovum and the sperm melted together

Who knew about all of my days on earth

Even before the cell division had started

Who loved me with his endless love

Even before I had found the time to make one single right choice

 

Never will I curse the Life

Which I was granted

Even though it could be said to be the only factor I did not choose

Life

Which presented the world to me day by day

Which gave me people I could love

Which showed me the humanity’s insufficiency

Which aroused the deepest emotions inside of me

Which allowed thoughts to be continuously circumscribed

Which let me be a part of this world’s history

 

Never will I underestimate the importance of life

It arouse with the Creators choice of a purpose

It lasts forever in a mercyful and good eternity

Eternity created for all of us

The importance of life is manifested in every human being

Each single one with its immanent power to change

It is impossible to minimize

 

Never will I underestimate the grief for a life that is lost

The loss that is experienced as a ruination of one’s own life

As an insatiable want

As an inexhaustible well filled up with tears of misery

None the less I will be happy about the life that still exists

Both in myself here on earth

And in that soul that went ahead to the Kingdom of Light

 

 

25.09.2008
In just one day

In just one day
Colors turned from grey to yellow
Chords turned from minor to major
Life turned from hopeless to pleasant

What makes me believe again and again
That the darkness is unwavering
When the glittering sun always returns to its position?
The sun rises and the sun sets
Forever it will be this way

Life teaches about the seasons
Life is about to change
Always
Developing to something new
Still returning to the familiar

In just one day
Words turned from weary to carefree
Tastes turned from tasteless to spicy
Odor turned from perspiration to perfume
In just one day

 

24.09.2008
It's night

It's night
The time is 2:35
I'm twisting and turning in my bed
For every new position I believe I'll fall asleep
But then I need another position

In my mind
Thoughts are travelling with a high speed
They replay situations from the past
They picture situations in the future
Then they zoom out to present
And concentrate on finding a new position

It's night
The time is 2:43
I'm angry at myself since I can't fall asleep
But the more I think about it
The harder it gets

In my mind
Thoughts travel from one place to another
They travel the whole world in just a few seconds
They show me the boy I used to love
He played the drums
In the states I played hand percussion
The hand percussion class was boring
My room mate also thought some classes were boring
She wants to visit me in Norway
Where should she stay then?
Where should I stay in a couple of months?
I should apply for a loan tomorrow
It would have been easier to get a loan if I had a husband
I should have married the boy I used to love...

Thoughts are busy like the aunts
They never rest
Not even in the night
Thoughts are many
They cannot be counted
Not even with the best computer in the world

It's night
The time is 2:58
I don't have to rush falling asleep
It just won't help anyway
I will enjoy every thought,
every move,
every breath,
every...,
every...
zzz

 

15.09.2008
One Moment

One moment
stealing moments from the future
shooting peace dead before its resurrection
What seemed so innocuous
turned out to prove the bulletproof protection
useless
Convulsions to break free
were left behind
like a fire quickly put out
with rising smoke as the only token of
a lost battle
Banners with exclamation marks
Banners with arrows
Blinded itself on purpose
just for a while...
One moment
only one moment
painted the walls black
covered the details of glory
until a new room was entered
and the gold again could dazzle the eyes
Lovely, senseless pleasure
caressing naked skin
Every touch a new foundation stone to
build the prison of grief
One moment
never was one moment
but a part of forever